A Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

 
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day 
are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.


A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. 
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and 
empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the 
students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

 

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the 
golf balls. He then asked the students again if the ! jar was full. They agreed 
it was.


The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of 
course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was 
full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."


The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured 
the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the 
sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize 
that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important 
things---God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your 
favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your 
life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your 
car.


The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar 
first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The 
same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you 
will never have room for the things that are important to you.

 
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your 
children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to 
get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of 
the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The 
rest is just sand ."


One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. 
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.


It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's 
always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

Discernment... Unsafe People

The Good Lord gives us gifts... And oh, how I wish I would learn to use mine... BUT... I have learned a few important things when it comes to discerning safe people that I'd like to share... And a few red flags that let me know to run faster than a rabbit being chased by a pack of coyotes...

DO THEY HAVE GENUINE EMPATHY FOR YOU OR OTHERS?
Watch them carefully when they do appear to express genuine empathy. They truly don't have the ability to empathize. Over the years, they have learned how to "ACT" concerned. The easiest emotion for them to "fake" is sadness. It is usually very difficult for them to express happiness for you or others and tend to quickly switch the situation back to themselves quickly in either situation. If they will not personally gain from the situation, chances are they will not be genuinely concerned. The unsafe person's grandiose sense of self makes them excellent actors, able to fake emotions that they don't really feel. If the focus is shifted from them for too long, they will use non-verbal tactics to bring focus back to them, i.e., acting like they have a bad headache, stomachache, etc.

DO THEY TREAT PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES AS "EQUALS?"
An unsafe person never really does this. Only if you have something that they want will they even bother with you. If you do have something they want, they will indeed bother with you, even to the point of being your biggest supporter as long as you continue to provide them with part (or all) of the limelight, your finances, your social status, or continue to be some sort of service to them. An unsafe person tends to boast of mistreating others in their past unrepentantly, or jokes about mistreating someone in front of you, just to see what your reaction would be.

ANY RED FLAGS? GET OUT QUICK...
Before situation becomes toxic... As a Christian, bow out gracefully, and pray for them and everyone that crosses their path...

IF YOU'VE HAD YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND AND IGNORED THE RED FLAGS:
The easiest determination is to say "no" to them and watch how they respond. An unsafe person will impose their will on you with all kinds of aggressive and covert tactics. If they can't, they will begin their campaign to make you doubt yourself, to smear you, to basically destroy you. Usually, you wake up to find you have had all your confidences (with added lies for extra drama) revealed by this unsafe person to all the "right" people at just the "wrong" time for you. They will not give up, they will only lay low, until they find another target or God heals them.

ANY RED FLAGS? RUN...
Get out of God's Way...
To hinder the seed you have already planted in their life as a Christian friend is only hurting them and you.
Break the ties. Stop the vacuum.
IF YOU TRULY CARE about their soul, let go and let God. He is the Only One that can save them...
Jeremiah 29:11 shows us that God has great plans for us and ABUSE is never apart of it. If someone tells you that they can't help themselves when they hurt us or use/abuse us, then that is their admission that they are going to keep on hurting or using us, and will not stop. The Truth is they can stop, they just don't want to stop, because they enjoy hurting us or using us for their own gain, because when we feel bad, they feel good. They pick and choose who they hurt or use. PERIOD. THE END.

(2 Timothy 3:7-9)
...always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.